He is currently a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and is responsible for leading the project The study of Adult Development. This is one of the most important studies with the longest time in history ever done.
Professor Robert Waldinger is the fourth successor to the project The study of Adult Development.
The longest study in history
Accordingly, the project The study of Adult Development – Research on human development was started in 1938 and has lasted until now. Over more than 80 years of research, scientists have examined the lives of 724 men. These people were divided into 2 groups, group 1 was a sophomore at Harvard University, group 2 was a male student from the most underprivileged family in Boston.
After more than 80 years of research, nearly 60 of these 724 people are alive to date, in their 90s and still participating in the project. Not only that, the descendants of these people also agreed to participate in this research, so far the number has increased to more than 2,000 people.
According to Professor Robert Waldinger, all participants were subjected to periodic health monitoring, blood samples and brain wave scans. Experts even interviewed the parents of these people to learn more about the personality and living environment of each member of the project.
Those guys later grew up and ended up in all walks of life. Some became doctors, some became lawyers, some became workers, one of them even became the president of the United States.
Among the 724 male students at that time, there were those who rose above poverty to reach high positions in society, while there were those who fell from high places to the bottom of society. Among them are those who live happy, happy and successful lives, and there are those who are always in pain and struggle with the humiliation of failure. Through decades of research and tens of thousands of pages of data, Professor Robert Waldinger has shown:
“It’s not wealth, fame or hard work that makes us happy, it’s the good relationships that make us happier and healthier.”
Professor Robert Waldinger, in conducting a survey, shared: “What is the most important goal in your life” , more than 80% of people answered “get rich”. From this result, Professor Robert Waldinger said, the fact that we subconsciously assume that trying to make a lot of money and more money to have a better and happier life easily makes us wrong. dead body.
Accordingly, through research on human development, the professor pointed out that what determines whether one’s life is happy or not depends on relationships with relatives, friends and the community.
Here are three big lessons about relationships that scientists learned from this study.
Actively connect, stay away from “toxic” loneliness
The first step to a good relationship is to be brave, connect proactively, expand relationships and make friends. Avoid getting lost or sinking into “toxic” loneliness without anyone next to you understanding.
Because research professor Robert Waldinger pointed out that people who are isolated and live in “toxic” loneliness often have poor health in early middle age, brain function declines and life expectancy is shortened. †
This idea is similar to a study from the University of Chicago , which found that lonely people’s brains are sluggish, more prone to cardiovascular disease, more difficult to communicate, and more prone to mental illness. people with good relationships.
Based on these studies, Professor Robert Waldinger has suggested that the way to “kill” “toxic” loneliness is “positive” relationships.
Through research, the professor said, people who have better relationships with family, friends and the community are often more likely to enjoy joy, happiness, better health and live longer with those they don’t know. some couple of friends.
Obviously, having good relationships is a prerequisite to help us have joy, happiness and health, both physically and mentally.
Quality of relationships is more important than quantity
According to statistics, 1 in 5 adults is lonely in a crowd, lonely in the work environment, lonely in their marriage or lonely in their own family… The message The second thing that experts have drawn from the survey is: † It doesn’t matter how many friends or relatives you have, it’s about the quality of those relationships.”
According to research, there are many 80-year-old men and women who say they feel extremely happy even though their bodies are old and weak and often in pain, but they are always happy because they have someone next to them. spouses or relatives who understand and love them.
In contrast, couples or people who often live in the midst of disagreements, coldness and unhappy relationships often feel that the physical pain seems to multiply and get worse each time. there is the presence of emotional pain.
“Life with a toxic husband or wife can sometimes be even more terrifying than a divorce,” said Professor Robert Waldinger.
Therefore, in this case, always keep in mind that “quality is more important than quantity”, choose to go with people who really understand, respect and genuinely love you.
Not afraid of controversial relationships, only afraid of relationships without trust
Professor Robert Waldinger said that attachment to other people helps our memory to become “sharper.” According to research, having a good relationship and always trusting each other will help us to have a better memory than usual. In contrast, people in relationships who cannot trust others are more prone to memory disorders.
Studies also show that a relationship that isn’t always “cool” will sometimes have conflict. For example, a couple may argue, but as long as they always trust each other, when difficulties always happen to each other, those arguments do not affect their memory. As can be seen, relationships based on trust will help “protect” our brain better.
After all, the key to a happy life is not money or fame, but the good relationships that accompany us throughout life. Hopefully, after this article, everyone can pull their own “key” to happiness.
Source: CafeF
