I recently gave birth to my second child, but my mother-in-law constantly hints at moving to her hometown, avoiding taking care of me, while my father-in-law claims we can’t manage without their help.
Residing in a rental in the city with my husband, our combined monthly income is around VND20 million (US$807). Following the birth of our second child a few weeks ago, seeking help from my mother is out of the question due to her advanced age of 80 and her commitment to caring for my father, a survivor of a stroke, in my hometown. Meanwhile, obtaining domestic help proves to be both an arduous and costly endeavor.
The arrival of our firstborn also led us to rely on the support of my mother-in-law, who then had to leave my father-in-law alone in my husband’s hometown to support us for three months. So this time she left my father-in-law again to help us with the newborn in town, but her stay is marred by frequent complaints as she resents us and initiates arguments with us almost every day.
She also intermittently threatens to retreat to her hometown to reunite with my father-in-law, leaving us to fend for ourselves with domestic responsibilities.
Additionally, my father-in-law constantly contacts my mother-in-law, urging her to come back and asking us why I didn’t ask my own parents for help. During one of these conversations, he remarked: “How would you survive without us?”
Having reached my limits, I recently told my mother-in-law that she should return to her hometown if she found her stay with us too difficult. Her reaction was furious, as she interpreted my words as expulsion and ceased all communication with me from that point on, but she chose to stay with us.
Enduring this tension, especially shortly after giving birth, is extremely taxing. Can you give me some advice?
