Originally from Vinh Phuc, a province in northern Vietnam, An’s life was marked by early widowhood and the daunting task of raising five children alone, four daughters and a son.
While she was in good health, she planned to divide her 1,000 square meter plot of land between her children: half for her daughters and the other half for her son to build a shrine in honor of their ancestors.
Tragically, An never formalized his wishes in a will, believing that his verbal instructions would suffice. “Later, my children will know how to share it,” she says.
She didn’t expect the deep discord that would ensue. Since that day, there has not been a single day in An’s house without insults and arguments from her five children.
Two years before, in the midst of a wild surge in land prices, An had suffered a debilitating stroke, rendering her bedridden and forgetful about precise arrangements. Seizing the opportunity, her son unilaterally claims ownership of the entire land, igniting a storm of discord among his siblings, who now engage in incessant bickering at their mother’s bedside.
The daughters insisted on honoring An’s oral decree, while their older brother, invoking archaic notions, vehemently proclaimed: “Inheritance is the birthright of men.”
Associate Professor Do Minh Cuong, a leading economics expert, says the pervasive nature of these family conflicts in Vietnam is deeply rooted in a bias favoring male heirs. This ingrained mindset, he argues, prevails in rural communities steeped in centuries-old customs and traditions, exacerbating inheritance problems.
Because girls traditionally move in and care for their husband’s family after being “married off” – sometimes even arranged to marry with some sort of dowry – old-school parents view their daughters as “the children from others,” Cuong said.
Such practices can be observed when wives no longer visit their parents during holidays and only spend time with their husband’s family and relatives.
“This is more evident in rural areas, where people treat each other according to family and clan customs and traditions,” the expert said.
According to data from the Supreme People’s Court, inheritance disputes in Vietnam have increased since the promulgation of the Civil Code in 2015. The number of cases has increased rapidly year by year, approximately 27% per year during the period 2015- 2018.
Lawyer Diep Nang Binh, a seasoned litigator in such cases, attributes much of the conflict to the lack of written wills, relying instead on oral agreements or unofficial documents, which breed ambiguity and result in undesirable consequences.
Binh emphasizes the imperative for parents to write legally binding wills while being of sound mind, warning against premature transfers of assets that can precipitate family conflict or leave parents vulnerable to exploitation.
Having handled many trials regarding inheritance disputes, lawyer Binh indicated that the way of dividing, when and whether to divide all property at once or not is also very important, because if parents divide property early , this can always cause conflicts between parents and children or between children.
Many parents fear being evicted from their homes after transferring all rights to their property to their children, a situation which can only be corrected if the law intervenes.
Binh has encountered cases where parents were disowned, insulted or assaulted by their children and grandchildren due to the division of property.
Illustrating the dangers of premature distribution of assets, the plight of Minh Son, a septuagenarian from Nghe An, and his wife, constitutes a poignant and cautionary tale.
Although they entrusted their entire estate to their son, hoping to benefit from filial care in the twilight of their lives, they faced defamation and neglect at the hands of their daughter-in-law. Alienated and abused, they sought refuge with their daughter, only to face further hostility from their son, culminating in a harrowing altercation requiring police intervention.
The son and his wives found themselves in public embarrassment when they were forced to leave their home, accompanied only by their family’s bowl of incense, as their conflict with their son and daughter-in-law reached its peak . A few months before, they had entrusted their inheritance of land and house to their only son, hoping that he would take care of him in the twilight of their years.
Once, Son and his wife had been treated well by their son, occasionally receiving gifts of expensive ginseng or new clothes. However, with the transfer of all their possessions, their daughter-in-law began to insinuate that they were “useless”, citing their weakened limbs and difficulty walking and eating.
Despite their desire to seek refuge with their neighbor daughter, their son adamantly thwarted their attempts, accusing them of conspiring to get their property. Recently, Son was insulted again by his daughter-in-law for a minor accident involving a dropped rice bowl.
Witnessing this degradation, Son discussed with his wife the possibility of moving to their daughter’s home, despite persistent harassment and threats from their son, including brandishing a knife, an ordeal that ultimately led Son to call the police .
Regarding cases like Son’s, lawyer Diep Nang Binh suggests that not disclosing asset transfers to children early can help prevent disputes. In addition, parents retain the right to modify, supplement or replace the will before the opening of the inheritance.
Binh emphasizes proactive parental guidance to instill independence and equality in children, prioritizing family love to mitigate future conflicts. “This preparation is essential, especially when considering early inheritance,” Binh emphasized.
Expert Do Minh Cuong agrees, arguing for children’s early education in independence and self-care, alongside parental considerations for their own future well-being. Although parents may choose to leave financial assets or property to their children, Cuong stresses the importance of achieving retirement goals and maintaining a surplus before doing so.
In advising on estate planning, Binh advocates for careful monitoring and delineation of rights and obligations, coupled with the flexibility to modify testamentary provisions as circumstances dictate.
Stressing that family ties are paramount, Cuong says cultivating a culture of equality and mutual respect from a young age eliminates the need for contentious battles over inheritance, thus emphasizing the inestimable value of family love transcending material wealth.
“After all, the value of land or property decreases over time, but family love, although invisible, is priceless,” he said.
