My husband is the youngest son in his family. His parents have five children, all of whom live separately.
His parents currently live in the countryside. They say that after they pass away, they will leave their house to me and my husband to live in and take care of. However, we cannot sell it or give it to anyone else.
Although his siblings each have their own homes, they live close to their parents and are therefore able to visit them frequently.
My husband and I live in town and only visit his parents on weekends. Although he lives far away and has his own family with two young children, my husband is very caring towards his parents.
Whenever they went to town for checkups or had to stay in the hospital, my husband always visited them and took care of them, even after a long day at work.
As for me, I have to take care of our two young children at home because we live with my parents. My parents are 80 years old and I’m the only one here to take care of them, so it’s convenient for us to live together.
Both of our families agreed that once my parents passed away, my husband, our children and I would move to the countryside to live with my in-laws.
However, I have problems with my husband’s siblings. They know that their parents’ house will be given to us, and since the properties are now valuable, they are not happy about it.
Whenever there was a family gathering or event, my sister-in-law would always say, “This house belongs to our ancestors, no one should have their name on it so if anyone has any difficulties in the future, they will be able to come back to live. here.”
The fact is that when my husband and I return to the country, we will be responsible for taking care of the house, which includes celebrating traditional birthdays to honor ancestral spirits.
So why wouldn’t his parents let us have the house? As long as they are alive, anyone can still visit them because it is their home. But when her parents pass away, we will be the ones to handle everything, so it makes no sense that my sister-in-law’s family insists on living there at that time.
If anyone wishes to live there, they are welcome as long as they also take care of the house and the ancestral altars.
However, what my sister-in-law wants is home without the responsibilities. In other words, she wants to have the cake and eat it too.
At present, even though my in-laws are alive, the siblings still respect us to a certain extent. But if the mode of ownership is not clearly defined, we will surely face problems in the future.
In fact, my in-laws have already divided and transferred all their land to their children in the past so that everyone gets their share. From now on, only this country house remains in their name, so their children should not ask for a share if their parents do not want to give it to them.
We don’t want to be too pushy with them while they are still alive, but without a formal transfer of ownership, we don’t feel safe around my sister-in-law.
I once told my mother-in-law that my husband and I don’t care who she gives the house to, but if she wants us to uproot our entire lives to move in, she should transfer ownership of home now to make sure things are going well. no mess later.
However, my in-laws are hesitant to give us the house at the moment, for fear that it might cause unrest among the siblings.
But if things continue like this, it will be my husband and I who will suffer in the future. How can we permanently move into a house that we don’t know for sure is ours?
I also talked to my husband about it, telling him that it’s not a question of the house but of transparency.
I said to him, “What if we spent money renovating the house to meet our future needs, only for your siblings to step in and claim their share later?”
I know my in-laws want to give us the house because they love my husband, but I don’t know how to change their mind about an anticipated inheritance.
My husband chooses to remain silent because he values his family ties and is afraid of upsetting anyone.
How should I navigate through this?
Reader May
*This review was translated into English by AI. Readers’ opinions are personal and do not necessarily correspond to those of VnExpress.
