She decided to settle down here to continue her search and be “loyal to her [Vietnamese] roots.”
Born Tao Thi Ngoc Thao on January 5, 1994, Jeunet was abandoned at birth. In her third month she was adopted by a French couple from the Go Vap Orphanage in HCMC and taken to Paris.
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Jeunet was adopted in 1994 by a French couple when she was three months old. Photo courtesy of Jeunet |
Jeunet’s adopted parents loved and supported her, but she felt isolated throughout her childhood as she faced unspeakable racial discrimination and constantly contemplated her true identity.
“Whenever I would pass by a group of strangers, they would slant their eyes to mock me,” she says.
She was called “ching chong,” the racist French way of mocking Asians, and was told countless times to “go back to your country.”
Things were no better at school, and she was diagnosed with depression at the tender age of seven.
Jeunet recalls how one time when her school told older students to choose one from the younger batches to take care of, she was the only one left out.
“I did not understand why I was left out like that since I had always been the top student in my class.”
As the racism got to her, she started crying at nights and telling her adopted parents she wished her appearance were similar to others. Her mother comforted her every time she cried, but admitted to her husband she had not expected to bring Jeunet such pain by adopting her.
They took her to a therapist, but realized it could not fill the void in her heart caused by questioning her origin and why she was abandoned at birth.
“She was insecure, and I thought the only solution was to find her biological mother,” her father says.
Jeunet visited Vietnam for the first time with her father at age 10, and they tried to find her birth mother, but got no useful result.
They returned to Vietnam five years later and again visited the Go Vap Orphanage.
This time they were able to find the woman listed as Jeunet’s biological mother in her birth certificate.
But the woman insisted her child had died at birth. Jeunet was determined and persuaded the woman to take a DNA test.
She had spoken the truth: the test revealed she was not Jeunet’s biological mother, and Jeunet then figured out she had been issued a wrong certificate at birth.
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Loanne Jeunet and her Vietnamese younger brother, who was adopted two years after she was. Photo courtesy of Loanne Jeunet |
Though the main purpose of the trip was not achieved, the 15-year-old was a completely changed person after the trip.
She had been shocked by the poor living conditions in the orphanage, which made her wonder “what if I wasn’t adopted?”
She grew increasingly aware of how lucky she was to have a bed, get love from her family members and not have to be worried about the next meal.
Things she saw during the trip made her more positive and cheerful and pulled her out of her depression.
She no longer felt embarrassed about being adopted and having a different appearance to those around her. Whenever someone commented about her hair and skin color since, she began to confidently respond: “Because I’m of Asian heritage.”
Jeunet started planning to return to Vietnam after growing up and achieving financial stability. So she started working and saving money right when she was in university.
She visited Vietnam in 2016, 2017 and 2018, and sought help from social media groups, organizations that worked to help people find lost relatives, hospitals and the orphanage hoping to get a lead.
She learned how to ride a motorbike and distributed flyers around HCMC.
Many suggested that she should be satisfied with what she had and return to France to live her life instead of making so much effort looking for her mother.
“But I wanted to find my mother, to know who I really was and where I really came from.”
She says she has never blamed her mother for abandoning her since she understands what a hard decision it must be for every mother.
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Jeunet during a trip to Japan in early 2023. Photo courtesy of Jeunet |
As she continued her search, something would briefly give her hope only for it to be dashed.
For instance, she was once told that she resembled the woman who introduced her adopted parents to the orphanage. She asked the woman to take a DNA test but she refused.
Jeunet managed to find a way, however. She feels her own hair to the woman’s son in France so that their DNA could be compared. But the results showed they were not related.
With no intention of giving up what she describes as her life’s “mission,” the 29-year-old decided to settle in Vietnam in January 2023.
She is learning Vietnamese after realizing language is a barrier, and looking for a job. “I want to talk to my mother in Vietnamese if I ever find her. The day I find my mother will be the happiest day of my life.”
