We are both 70 years old. We both have diabetes and several other health issues.
We are both retired teachers who managed to accumulate, through diligence and timely investments, a spacious townhouse worth VND20 billion ($813,338) in the western part of Hanoi.
I have two children, a son and a daughter. My eldest daughter is talented, intelligent and successful, with a good income.
My son, on the other hand, has not been as successful as his sister and earns just enough to live an average life and support his small family.
My son’s family currently lives with us, while my daughter lives in a neighboring apartment.
Our two children care about us and understand that their parents are just ordinary pensioners, so our combined pensions do not guarantee adequate health care.
That’s why they give us money from time to time to help us live more comfortably.
However, this amount of money is also not enough to allow us to travel or enjoy the finer things in life.
Accepting money from our children also makes us feel guilty, because they all work hard for their lives and raise their own children.
So if our children have to tighten their belts to save money that we can spend, it will create pressure on them.
This could lead to a mindset where they compare us to their in-laws or even wish to avoid us or hope that we are not healthy enough to spend money.
Then there is also the fact that one child gives us more than the other, which creates resentment.
Older people with significant assets are also at greater risk of being scammed.
Considering that we cannot take our wealth with us when we die, my husband and I intend to sell the house we currently live in and divide it equally into four parts, giving ourselves and our children one part each (5 billion VND).
It is in part thanks to our children that we have been able to accumulate the assets we have today.
Additionally, as our grandchildren are still young, our support will be very meaningful to them.
In the future, if one of us dies, that person’s remaining share will be transferred to whoever is still alive.
After we both pass away, the remaining assets will be divided equally between our two children and grandchildren.
However, my daughter doesn’t want her parents to leave the familiar place we have lived in for 20 years, so she and her husband offered to buy our shares of the house (10 billion VND in total) for 400 million VND per year for 25 years. years.
Once she has paid the full amount, our living conditions will be managed by our children and grandchildren as they see fit.
My daughter will always allow her brother to live in the house and will respect his right to repurchase the house if he wishes.
When we reach a hundred years old or pass away, my son can still receive his share of the house.
If my daughter is no longer able to pay for the house, then it can be sold and divided among family members, as we had planned.
After reaching an agreement within the family, we consulted a lawyer, signed a contract with clear conditions and had it legalized.
Over the past three years, thanks to the money my daughter sends home each year, my husband and I have been able to afford better health care, travel more, and improve our quality of life.
Sometimes we can also support our son and help our grandchildren pursue their talents and interests without feeling guilty or having to see the worried looks on our children’s faces when they have to spend a large amount of money.
My husband and I have also been able to plan activities for our extended family and trips with our children and grandchildren.
The family atmosphere became more and more joyful.
I have seen many families living in large houses with a tense and tense atmosphere, as elderly parents with assets still live in discomfort and depend on financial support from their children.
In these cases, after the parents die, leaving behind a large estate, their children and grandchildren often fight over the inheritance, causing conflict and hard feelings.
Therefore, if you are still sane and healthy, you should learn to accept your old age and organize and adjust your assets and finances to better suit your family’s circumstances.
Children should also consider their parents’ situation and understand them, show empathy and support them appropriately as much as they can.
My family’s story may not be typical, but I want to share it with the esteemed readers of VnExpress hoping that seniors reading this will have another option to consider.
Do you want to pass on your assets to your children before you die?
Reader Ha Tu Duong
*This review was translated into English by AI. Readers’ opinions are personal and do not necessarily correspond to those of VnExpress.
