You can use these rules at work and at home to avoid getting into unexpected situations. And when it comes to difficult situations, these rules will help you find solutions. In addition, using the following 5 rules will also help you understand and manage your emotions and those of the other person.
1. The “Blue Dolphin” Rule to Master Positive Thinking
In psychology, the term “white bear” indicates that the more you try to suppress certain thoughts, the more often they appear in your head. This concept is included in a work by the Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky. “Try doing this: Even if you don’t try to imagine the polar bear, it appears more and more every minute and every second.”
Everyone has their own “white bear”. Here “white bear” can be understood as the feeling of fear and restlessness before a meeting. Or when you want to buy something expensive, but the more you ignore it, the more you want to own it.
So, how do you deal with that “white bear”? The answer is that you need a “blue dolphin”. “Blue dolphin” is an alternative thought that will help you shift your focus when “white bear” comes to mind.
If the “white bear” is the fear of any presentation or public speaking, you can replace it with a “blue dolphin” that says to yourself, I’m so excited to do this. This is one way to help you turn potential negatives into positives.
2. The Rule of Silence in an Uncomfortable Situation
On challenging questions, stop for a few seconds and think deeply about what you want to say, rather than answer right away.
You can spend 5, 10, or even 15 seconds (or longer) before commenting. If you are not used to this, you may feel a little uncomfortable at first. But this rule is a great critical thinking tool.
When faced with challenging questions, it’s easy to lose control of your emotions and say something you don’t really want to say. Pause before answering, you have the situation under control. You give yourself time to think about things. At the same time, you increase your self-confidence and you know for sure what you want to say.
3. Scope rule
Everyone wants to do great things, but not many people understand what it takes to do that. Therefore, there are not many good ideas and few people or companies who can execute them.
The term “scope” is used to describe in detail what is involved in the time, effort and effort required to get the job done. As you can imagine, whether you are working on a complex or simple project, scoping is very important. It will help you reduce stress and work smoothly.
4. Diamond rule
Nobody likes to be criticized, but we all need it. Because this is the best way to learn and grow. In Justin Bariso’s book EQ Applied: The Real-World Guide to Emotional Intelligence, he likens negative feedback to a newly mined rough diamond. rough, rough stone, but if cut, polished, that ugly stone will become priceless.
Criticism is like an unpolished diamond: it is ugly. But just as a professional diamond cutter can transform a rough, unpolished stone into something beautiful, you can also learn to take advantage of harsh criticism.
For most of us, any criticism is usually labeled as criticism that others use for personal attacks. We respond by withdrawing or trying to put the critic down. That leads to you closing your mind and ignoring what other people are saying.
But there’s one problem you rarely admit: criticism often stems from the truth. Just because you’re smart and hardworking doesn’t mean you never make mistakes. You can feel bad if someone sees you and reminds you that you have a loose shoelace or a misaligned knot. But isn’t it thanks to those honest comments that you can take a look at yourself before entering a meeting or meeting an important partner?
Of course, there are also those around us who will make blunt, insensitive criticism. But even in these cases, criticism is valuable because it helps you see your actions from a different perspective. From there you can adjust your behavior so that it matches the prevailing norms.
5. Refresh Rules
This involves taking the time to reaffirm your goals, values, and principles — even a written list. Then make them the center of attention to focus thoughts and feelings.
This is necessary because we are surrounded by too much work. Taking the time to reaffirm your goals and write down what’s important will bring your thoughts back into focus. And psychology teaches us that controlling our thoughts allows us to control our emotions.
